Hitting the wall

Today I hit the wall in a variety of ways…I turned the corner sorting. I can see the light. I feel as if the process has definitely been worth it. I still have a lot to do but can see the light. That was sort of hitting the wall in a good way. However, emotionally, the "saying good-bye" is over rated. I picked Abbigail up from school and her best friend Samantha was hanging on her, not wanting to let go, tears running down her face. Her two best friends are moving away and she's devastated. Abbigail says that the whole class is in mourning. It's a lot to carry. Then we picked up Gabrielle and we have last minute things to do. We are to make a quilt square with a family symbol and write an explanation of why we chose it and what it means to us. She also has been chosen to share something for show and tell tomorrow. All of this is to happen tonight. As we buckled into the car at Gabrielle's school, both girls were crying. I felt like joining them. Now, it's late, it's been a long day of sorting, cleaning, problem solving, but the drama surrounding our move seems a bit over the top to me. I just spent an hour getting Abbigail's things organized for her all school celebration tomorrow. That's right, I'm bringing donut holes and juice for the entire school, the principal thought since everyone knows her we should do it up big… I moved twice as a child at 8 and 14. And I've moved quite a bit as an adult…A total of five times and this next move will make six. And each of these moves were to another city miles from where I had been living and some to a completely new state and region of the country. I feel like each time I moved my life was better. There is something so wonderful about getting a clean slate, a fresh start. There is something so juicy about learning a new culture and immersing yourself in a new region. It helps you to open your mind to see people in new ways, in different ways. Today, because of facebook and the internet in general I have contact with people from every one of the places that I've lived. Crazy but true! With this move, my girls and I will even be able to video call on Skype back to friends in Tucson. It's true, it's not the same as hanging out on a regular basis, however, you can most definitely stay in the loop. We can see one another again, even the very next day by just turning on the computer and finding a web cam. I think I might have become jaded in the good-bye department. Of course, I feel as if we've been saying good-byes now for at least 8 weeks. That's a long time. Maybe I have good-bye exhaustion? Is that something that happens at this point in the move? The good news? Tomorrow is Friday. We'll do the quilt square during breakfast, we've picked out the sharing toy. We will pick up the donut holes on the way to Abbigail's school. We've printed and cut out the new address cards and set up her email address loveabbigail08@yahoo.com if you'd like to write her. Gabrielle will walk in with her things and then at 1:30 when I pick them up, it will be done. And after our normal Friday night movie night, at long last hail Saturday morn when the moving truck will arrive and begin its work. Abbigail said tonight, weary from it all, "Can't we just go home?" Perhaps that's just it…we don't fit in here anymore and we're not anyplace else, we're in the in between and that is always a bit scratchy. As I turn in my housekeys tomorrow and finish all the final sorting we'll move further along the path. Rest assured dear ones in Tucson, we are not saying good-bye for you will remain in our hearts. Each one of us has learned an infinite amount about love and life and no one can take that from us including distance. Any time you are in the central birkshires, you will find a home with us! Over and out, I'm glad to sign off and say "Good-bye" to Thursday!