Wednesday

Sorry for the late post! Yesterday was extreme driving through Kansas. We loved the scenery. We learned about hay bales round and rectangular. We got the horse and cow thing figured out. We even saw some incredible, big horned, bulls. Then there were the oil rigs pumping oil out of the ground. We stayed mostly on two lane highways and passing farm equipment and semis filled with alfalfa become a roller coaster ride. I have nothing bad to say about Kansas. At one of our potty stops the girls hands flew up to their noses and they exclaimed, "Eeew! What is that smell?" My city girls weren't sure about the smell of alfalfa and manure. I instantly remembered my dad saying, "That's the smell of money girls!"

Once we finally arrived, it was the longest day of driving, a total of 12 hours. The girls still were happy, they napped on cue, they enjoyed one another, and the scenery. We sang songs. And, a few times we rolled all the windows down until stuff started flying around like crazy. Finally, we got here. The Stephens house was buzzing with activity. The twins were taking a guitar lesson with a few other kids from church and Mac the church musician was their teacher. They sounded great! There were warm hugs, big smiles and overflowing joy with the reception and kindness. It's so good to be with longtime friends. They made tacos in our honor and we were off to Southwood UCC.

Michael arranged for people who wanted to come by the church for an hour to say hi! The pillars were there, with more warm hugs, lots of excitement for the new call. It was really wonderful. I love these people who invited me in during seminary and then found a way to help me be ordained. My girls were so excited to see my picture on the wall with one of the confirmation classes and for ordination. Awesome! They have done so many wonderful things. They painted their concrete and created a labyrinth in their fellowship hall. It had Shalom written in Hebrew, Allah written in Islam, and the lotus flower to symbolize Buddism, and the globe as the center piece. This is their kind of ministry. Where the world is invited in and celebrated for all of God's beautiful creation. They'd also redone their entire kitchen themselves and it is glorious. They put many of their counters on wheels so that they can have a completely open concept. This architecture reflects their theology, open, welcoming, warm, diverse. Really awesome! They lay leadership is deep and wide, and after Michael's 8 years at Southwood, it is thriving. What a blessing and covenant they have with him and he has with them. Beautiful. I feel so lucky that they have touched my life and I had the privilege of being a part of theirs.

Today we are going to the Kansas City Zoo, playing with dogs and jumping on the trampoline. But the thing the girls are most excited about is running in the grass. Hopefully, I'll post again tonight to let you know how it all goes. I throw down to both Melissa and Karen, you're going to have to send the baked goods. It's true we're only half way, but I'm going to make it. We're having a blast. Of course, you both motivated me with home baked goods. The only thing that works faster than that is diet coke or whipped cream…no chance! We all send our love from the half way point of Missouri!

Teeter Totter Tuesday

I'm blogging in the city park of Elkhart, KS. The girls are trying to figure out how to ride a teeter totter! I wish you could hear them squealing with delight. Nothing like an old fashioned toy to bring the joy out. The modern play structure is in front of me but they're choosing the merry-go-round, teeter totter, and bench swing. They're figuring out the physics, Abbigail sitting closer to the fulcrum so that they can do it on their own. Completely awesome! It's been another fabulous day in America. I'd forgotten how amazing this country is. Really, when we're feeling disgruntled or hopeless all we need is a multiple state road trip. Today we left the desert and went into Northern New Mexico's rolling rocks, buttes, and pine trees. It was incredible! We put the windows down and laughed and laughed. Gabrielle kept saying, "Smell that fresh air! I want to eat it and eat it and eat it!" Then things began to open up as we headed towards Oklahoma and Kansas. My girls weren't sure what was a horse and what was a cow…Ughh! I think we've got that sorted out after today. We've turned into such a city family. The drive felt longer today even though it was shorter, so I'm glad we'll have the break in Kansas City and then a short hop to St. Louis. The Missouri friends are all throwing out the welcome mats and I couldn't be more thrilled! I can't wait for everyone to meet the girls and I can't wait for big hugs and to see their shining faces. Nothing like a road trip mixed in with long-time friends. Tonight we're in this amazing motel, the El Dorado. They couldn't decide where to put us so they upgraded us to a suite. It faces the city park we're playing in right now. They thought it would be fun for the girls. How sweet is that? We walked down the street for dinner. Abbigail said, "It's cool being in a small town where you can walk everywhere." She saw a girl walking from her house to the park without a parent and couldn't believe that was OK. Different towns different rules, I said we'll have to see what the rules are in Dalton. In good form, Gabrielle has now fallen off the top of the teeter totter and Abbigail is now dragging her alongside the merry-go-round. Ah, sisters. It is a beautiful thing! As the sun has now slipped behind the grain elevator, I shall sign off for today. Kansas City, Kansas City, here we come!

Potty Times

Well, we did it! We left Tucson, we left Arizona. We are now in Albuquerque, NM. The morning started off incredibly! Auntie Karen made scrambled eggs, fresh fruit and juice. She packed us each an amazing lunch. She made a couple of music CDs for our trip and hid little quotes inside bags as she packed them. WE felt so loved, cherished, nurtured and sent off well. Of course, the moment Gabrielle hugged her good-bye we all started to cry. That was the moment I have been dreading since all of this started. She's an amazing sister, a confidant, a good friend and she and Jim have been lifesavers on more than one occasion. We will all miss having them at our weekly family dinners, not to mention all the holidays. So the tears came, bathing us in connection, family and love. We're in your heart Auntie and Uncle. Poor Uncle Jim was also off to the courthouse as he'd been called in for Jury duty again. He's been called many times and always ends up serving so a yucky day for him. How come so many people get called repeatedly with a million people residing in the Tucson area. Ughh

Well, sorry to disappoint Melissa, but we made it to Albuquerque in record time, seven hours. The girls were PHENOMENAL! They looked at maps, watched the landscape, counted train cars, looked for license plates, colored, red books and we sang a lot. We did not even need to watch a DVD. After lunch we listened to a book on CD and then they both took naps for about an hour until we reached Alb. Then, they watched a little PBS while I took a quick shower and snooze.

We did have the privilege of hanging out with Rev. Dr. Lee Albertson from First UCC in Alb tonight. He's an amazing guy. I only called him yesterday and it worked out. So he took us out to dinner for pizza and then Baskin Robbins for dessert. We all loved getting caught up. It was like whipped cream on top of dessert, a great way to end a fantastic day.

We're staying at LaQuinta tonight and it's clean and quite lovely. The girls feel really important to be in such a nice place. When we walked in Elvis was seated in the breakfast area hanging out with two of his friends! I was a bit surprised because his friends were really underdressed. It was chubby Elvis with the gold rimmed glasses. I was surprised to find him here at LaQuinta in New Mexico, but I guess the desert would be a good place to hang out, sober up, get your center back.

The best part of today involves Gabrielle and the potty. We take the potty training seat with us on long trips. It's an excellent way to be able to stop on the side of the road anywhere for the girls to potty. Then I leave the deposits, ziplock bag the paper, and clorax wipe and we're back on the road. Today, Gabrielle had to go as we were between Silver City and Hatch NM. We were on a two laned highway so it was actually easier to stop in spite of being out in the middle of desert. Well, I misjudged the side of the road and we ended up not in foliage but a huge picker patch. Of course, I come around the car first and don't realize it until she's on the potty and I'm pulling stickers out of my hands. Then she starts screaming bloody murder while pee starts flying everywhere…A giant black beetle type bug with red stripes was headed towards her and freaked her out. Great! Now I have to be calm, get the girl to sit back down, avert the giant beetle which is sensing trouble so now at a quick jog, and get us out of the picker patch. Luckily supermom was on duty, the beetle didn't like being pelted with sand and quickly changed course without having to be squished. Which would have been wretched as it was huge! And, most importantly not one drop of pee ended up on clothing, hers or mine. Now, if the angry blisters from some of the prickers would go away tonight, gripping the wheel tomorrow will be more pleasant.

I know some of you think I'm crazy for decided to drive out. But check it out! I got to be a super hero to Gabrielle. I saw Elvis with my very own eyes at a breakfast nook in Albuquerque and capped it all off with a good friend and ice cream! Wow! That just doesn't happen in airports. Not to mention the joy of hearing the girls squeal with joy when they saw something beautiful, new or interesting. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Beginning Again

Thank you God for Sabbath, for renewing and beginning again! Today began with letting go of the last things in Tucson. We worked scrubbing, sweeping, vacuuming the walls, carpets, floors. It felt good to clean out the old to make way for the new. We didn't use all of our brain cells though and we did start the oven cleaning when we first arrived…Today it was 96 which was great, however, to have a ballistically hot oven while we were cleaning did crank it up a notch. Not our best move. But, we left Calle Cambujo with sparkling floors, spackled walls, clean bathrooms and appliances. Thank you for the good times, shelter during the storms and the place our family began.

This evening we repacked suitcases, sorted out the car, printed out the driving directions, double checked the map, paid a few bills so tomorrow we can head to Albuquerque. A pool has begun as some who've actually been in the car with my children as to how far I will make it before needing to call for back up. My brother in law thinks, Valencia, about a mile from their house. Melissa is betting on Albuquerque. Karen thinks Kansas. They've thrown down baked goods. It's getting exciting! In spite of the odds, I'm betting on Dalton and can't wait to hit the road tomorrow. It's been a long time since I've done a decent road trip, plus, so many lovely friends along the way. Lee Albertson has invited us to dinner tomorrow night in Albuquerque. It's going to be awesome. And, after all the waiting, it's finally here, only one more sleep!

Saturday Summary

I'm sitting next to Uncle Jim, sunk into his deliciously soft sofa, drinking my favorite wine spritzer, the girls are in bed, life is good! Auntie Karen and Uncle Jim arrived this morning at 8:15 and got breakfast for all. Then Laura arrived at 9:30 to help with the girls. First we felt the rumbling, next we heard the diesel and at last the doorbell rang about 10:30, the moving van was here! We made great friends of Animal Andrew who threw box after box together, wrapping, taping, packing like a mad man taking 4 breaks between 10:30 and 6:30! He was smiling, happy, upbeat couldn't be a nicer guy. He was from Tucson, had never worked with the guys from California before and fell in like nobody's business. Incredible! It was 100 degrees with 23% humidity, completely gross day to be moving and yet these guys never stopped moving, smiling, laughing, making it fun. Then we had Ricky who worked all day in the hot, metal truck bed. He kept apologizing he had to drink Gatorade…Seriously? I'd have to drink an ocean of it just to pack, I can't imagine doing it in a tin can! He also was absolutely lovely, kind, quiet, gentle. Turns out he was a priest at one point in his life. He was impressed with the number of rosaries I had around the house for a protestant. And then we had Jerry, he drives Big Red, and is a gargantuan Samoan, definitely the muscle. He walked in, found a rosary I had on the coffee table and immediately put it on. He wore it all day and took it home with him, still wearing it. The amazing thing is, this rosary is one that my good friend Heather has been using to pray over the call, the move, the changes and she'd just sent it to me. Jerry the mover was drawn to the moving rosary. So, as it had been previously pressed into service about this move, it literally continued with the move…Awesome!! In spite of no one believing it possible, including the movers, everything was packed, loaded, tied up inside the truck and all pulling away from the curb at 7pm this evening! Hooray! This is actually happening! Gabrielle was absolutely thrilled to be with these men all day. She was in high heaven and took a particular shine to Rosary Jerry. As we all went out to see the full truck the guys asked if she'd like to see inside Big Red. They helped her climb up in and shut the door. They turned on the interior cab lights. They showed her how the seats go way up or way down like an amusement park ride. She was working hard to be cool and not smile! Then, Jerry climbed in and started the truck! She got to ride along as they drove around the trailer and backed up to connect. She got a bit scared when he rolled up the window and got out. But, what a big day! She couldn't believe she was up so high in such a big truck! Thank you God for Walsh Moving. Thank you for Jerry, Ricky, and Andrew. What a great crew. And after this 15 hour day and counting, it feels good to know, the hardest work is behind us and now the fun begins. Plus, Uncle Jim made grilled chicken burritos for dinner with Alejandro's tortillas and Auntie Karen made homemade pumpkin pie! It just doesn't get better than this! Thanks everyone for helping today to be absolutely incredible. Big love!

Thank you God for Friday

Halleluia! It's here! Friday! And what an incredible Friday it's been. My Thursday angst and exhaustion has lifted and things are nicely falling into place. Each girl is tucked nicely into her bed taking a late afternoon snooze after the emotional work of the week and peace decends upon our adobe abode. Delicious! The day began with an enthusiastic phone call from Mark of Realty Street in Dalton. He wanted to let me know the work is looking wonderful in my house and is currently ahead of schedule. The building inspector was due today and then a few more things can be put into place earlier next week as we drive. Thank you Mark! What a God send you've been to me. Thank you Beth for knowing who to ask and keeping him in line, awesome! From there each girl had an incredible day at school. Gabrielle's teacher, Leticia, read a story of a coyote who had to move far away and how sad the friends were. The whole class decided they each wanted to make her a gift. They also made her a huge card which is beautiful. She said she's going to hang it in her new room. Leticia sang a special good-bye song and the kids did the motions. Gabrielle didn't cry but kept it all stuffed inside, it's hard all these big feelings. I cried when I hugged Leticia good-bye. She did miracles with Abbigail and Gabrielle had only gotten started. But, you should see the art she did, her journal she wrote, such amazing opportunities at St. Mark's Kindergarten and Preschool. Thanks to all the staff that loved my girls. As we left we took time to jump down one tiny step. As Gabrielle learned to walk, every day she stopped there and tried to jump down until finally she could do it. Today she only thought that was silly that it was ever hard. We both laughed as we did it. I'll miss that little school and all the lovely memories. Abbigail had an equally lovely day. She got to ring the bell for chapel. Mother Superior gave her a special book for our family. The whole school had the donut holes and punch. Mr. Shorb made a little wooden box and then today, went around and took photos of their class, she and Samantha her BFF, Abbigail and the Principal and Dean of Students, Abbigail and the Sisters. Then each photo was placed in a window of the box. Somehow the entire school was then invited to make her a card on a piece of fun foam. Each card was then put into the box. What a beautiful gift. The entire school was there to say good-bye. The staff came out and gave hugs all around. We all cried. It was beautiful. As we walked away for the last time, Abbigail said, "it's sad to say good-bye, but I don't have homework, next week we are on vacation, and WE GET A FRESH START! A clean slate!" As the tears ran down her cheeks it felt just as big as her baptism day, thank you God for blessing this amazing little girl. It just doesn't get better than that. Mr. Shorb was the first male teacher that Abbigail liked and trusted in a healthy way. He taught her science class last year and boy did she love it. I'm grateful for that exuberant, wise, compassionate, talented man and thank God we had the privilege of spending time with him. Good-bye to Abbie Loveland Tuller School, her friends and teachers there.

The staff at Abbigail's school were very impressed and moved by the beautiful book that arrived in the mail yesterday from Craneville Elementary Abbigail's new school. There were pictures of the rooms in the building, the Principal, the art and music teachers, the Dean of Students and the Adjustment Counselor. She proudly showed the kids today who are worried about "public" school and why I would send her there. Once they saw those photos they all changed their minds. Thank you God for this amazing town of Dalton and the welcome they are preparing for this little family. Thank you for the staff at Craneville who took time to call today in order to be ready for the welcome. Thank you God for this amazing fresh, clean start. We are allowing those grace filled baptismal waters to sweep us away. God speed!

And no…I'm not done packing or sorting…But I've still got tonight J…

Hitting the wall

Today I hit the wall in a variety of ways…I turned the corner sorting. I can see the light. I feel as if the process has definitely been worth it. I still have a lot to do but can see the light. That was sort of hitting the wall in a good way. However, emotionally, the "saying good-bye" is over rated. I picked Abbigail up from school and her best friend Samantha was hanging on her, not wanting to let go, tears running down her face. Her two best friends are moving away and she's devastated. Abbigail says that the whole class is in mourning. It's a lot to carry. Then we picked up Gabrielle and we have last minute things to do. We are to make a quilt square with a family symbol and write an explanation of why we chose it and what it means to us. She also has been chosen to share something for show and tell tomorrow. All of this is to happen tonight. As we buckled into the car at Gabrielle's school, both girls were crying. I felt like joining them. Now, it's late, it's been a long day of sorting, cleaning, problem solving, but the drama surrounding our move seems a bit over the top to me. I just spent an hour getting Abbigail's things organized for her all school celebration tomorrow. That's right, I'm bringing donut holes and juice for the entire school, the principal thought since everyone knows her we should do it up big… I moved twice as a child at 8 and 14. And I've moved quite a bit as an adult…A total of five times and this next move will make six. And each of these moves were to another city miles from where I had been living and some to a completely new state and region of the country. I feel like each time I moved my life was better. There is something so wonderful about getting a clean slate, a fresh start. There is something so juicy about learning a new culture and immersing yourself in a new region. It helps you to open your mind to see people in new ways, in different ways. Today, because of facebook and the internet in general I have contact with people from every one of the places that I've lived. Crazy but true! With this move, my girls and I will even be able to video call on Skype back to friends in Tucson. It's true, it's not the same as hanging out on a regular basis, however, you can most definitely stay in the loop. We can see one another again, even the very next day by just turning on the computer and finding a web cam. I think I might have become jaded in the good-bye department. Of course, I feel as if we've been saying good-byes now for at least 8 weeks. That's a long time. Maybe I have good-bye exhaustion? Is that something that happens at this point in the move? The good news? Tomorrow is Friday. We'll do the quilt square during breakfast, we've picked out the sharing toy. We will pick up the donut holes on the way to Abbigail's school. We've printed and cut out the new address cards and set up her email address loveabbigail08@yahoo.com if you'd like to write her. Gabrielle will walk in with her things and then at 1:30 when I pick them up, it will be done. And after our normal Friday night movie night, at long last hail Saturday morn when the moving truck will arrive and begin its work. Abbigail said tonight, weary from it all, "Can't we just go home?" Perhaps that's just it…we don't fit in here anymore and we're not anyplace else, we're in the in between and that is always a bit scratchy. As I turn in my housekeys tomorrow and finish all the final sorting we'll move further along the path. Rest assured dear ones in Tucson, we are not saying good-bye for you will remain in our hearts. Each one of us has learned an infinite amount about love and life and no one can take that from us including distance. Any time you are in the central birkshires, you will find a home with us! Over and out, I'm glad to sign off and say "Good-bye" to Thursday!

Wild and Wacky Wednesday

Well, it only took three days for me to not be able to post! I hit the wall last night and the blog had to wait. Sorry, some of you were alarmed, no worries, still here. Tuesday was filled with highs and lows. It's something amazing to be buying a home. I personally never thought it would be possible. Never. As a single mother of two, I just never could figure out how I'd have the money for the down payment. And, now this opportunity in Dalton has changed that along with so many other things. The emotions surrounding this miracle are also intensified by the economic climate and so many people being put out of their homes. I can't imagine the depth of fear, anxiety, stress, hopelessness of losing my home. Of knowing that you are responsible for providing for your family and then bam, losing the very thing that symbolizes that role. I grieve for our nation and wish we could find a way to make sure everyone has a home. As I signed the papers and sent them off, I held the tension of all of that in my heart. God please watch over all those who have lost their homes and are in danger of losing their homes. Help us to find ways to be like Christ, who himself was homeless during his ministry counting on the kindness of strangers. Let us do so!

My car has gotten a clean bill of health so it's ready for the journey. Today I did massive work on the house. I'm sorting through everything so that we only take what we need, want. All unwanted things are tossed or donated. I love this part of the process, unfortunately, I've started destroying every single room without putting anything together and that has a price. So today, I spent time making some sense of the mess. That helped. The moving company just called and confirmed it's not until Saturday that they will arrive. Bummer! They also weren't planning on packing me…AHHH! I stayed calm and did assure them that they will indeed be doing the packing and I'll be prepared to see them Saturday. It may mean we can't leave until Monday which would really tighten my driving schedule but I'm trying to go with it. To embrace all of this process as what it is and to go with it…change is hard after all.

Speaking of change, my sister's car died yesterday. She needs another one that will last her at least a year. If anyone near here knows of someone with a car, she could really use the help. She's so close to finishing this PhD, and that's enough stress. It's hard to see her struggling so just when I've got one foot out the door. I love you K! Lots of love and light and I'm visualizing you zipping around with your own wheels soon. Let it be so!

Monday Morning

I'm sitting in waiting room getting my car serviced, the girls are both at school and I'm waiting for my sister Karen to pick me up.  We're driving to Phoenix today for her grandmother's funeral.  She spent most of her life in the state of New York and only moved out here at Thanksgiving time.  She was an absolute gem to the girls and helped make our holidays wonderful.  Soon after arriving she was diagnosed with lung cancer and quickly became terminally ill.  She spent her last months going through her thigns and passing them out.  I have an incredible lamp I call "Morton" after the Morton salt guy that came from her which is absolutely perfect for New England.  He'll proudly salute you in my home office when you arrive.  In the midst of so much joy beginning such a juicey opportunity in Dalton it is something to bring everything to a halt to hold the sacred space of a life passing into the next.  It touches the sadness of letting go, saying good-bye, losing what's familiar.  I'm glad that I'll be able to hold that space today in the midst of it all. 

The party at the Goldschmid's yesterday was great.  The kids all swam from about 1:00 until we dragged them out sometime around 5.  Abbigail sang with Chuck as he played guitar.  She had many compliments.  Gabrielle ate 2 brownies and had her first root beer.  The sky was blue, the mountains were majestic, the hospitality was extensive and it was wonderful to have some space to playfully say good-bye.  However, the undertone was a bit sad.  In spite of the sun, the cloudless sky, the yummy food.  Gabrielle started yelling, "No, no, no!" and marched to the door and angrily sat down.  She didn't want to leave, she didn't want to say good-bye.  Some of the older folks I know I might not see again, cried, afraid, worried they won't have anyone to come when they are in crisis.  O Holy One, please surround these lovely friends with your healing light and help to ease their hurt.  Remind us all that you go with us and help us hold the laughter and love in our hearts. 

At one point Chuck pulled a drowned baby scorpion out of the swimming pool.  Then stories of tarantula's in the office, lizards in the bookshelf, gila monster's in the backyard and brown recluse in the bathroom...brought tears of laughter to our eyes and made our stomachs ache!  I'm looking forward to trading all of those things in, and walking barefoot in spongy grass.  Thank you God for all the emotions in the midst of changing days.  Gabrielle woke up this morning smiling.  Before she opened her eyes she said, "I had a happy dream!  I was eating Strawberry pie.  It was really good.  You were too, Abbigail, Auntie Karen and Uncle Jim.  We were all eating the pie and loving the pie.  Then two birds, a Mama and a baby said, 'clap your hands!' and we did.  It's how we paid."  Here's to a day that begins with smiling babies, strawberry pie and clapping.  Love and light!

Happy Sabbath!

Thank you God for this glorious Sabbath!  Thank you God for purple mountains majesty out my Prayer room window.  Thank you for these beautiful girls, a call and breath in my body.  Happy Sabbath everyone!  I've returned home from my magical journey to Dalton, MA where I was called as the 23 pastor of the First Congregational UCC.  Hooray!  It was overwhelming, exhilerating, and filled with so much love!  I feel like I fell into a Normal Rockwell painting and was completely accepted as a character there, I know, it blows my mind too.  Now, all three of us just want to get to Massachusetts!  We invented a new game yesterday called, shredding!  Turns out we all like to play it.  A lot can be worked out through sending that paper into the shredding machine and watching it get sucked in and mulched up.  Gabrielle particularly likes it, I'm hoping it helps with some of her anxiety and anger towards the changes at hand.  I love the feeling of going through things and sorting them out and most importantly lightening the load.  Abbigail gets very anxious and feels hurt to let go of anything, even junk mail she's collected to play with.  I feel the opposite, let it go, let it go, let it go and it feels GREAT to do so.  Tomorrow, I'm going to a funeral, and I'm interested to see if the emotions will be similar, this letting go, this God is with you even though things can change quickly and unexpectedly.  And, even though most times, unexpectedly feels lousy, this time it feels strong, solid, wonderful, just in time.  Thank you God for endings and beginnings and beginnings and endings.  And, in the midst of it all are the good-byes.  Today there will be swimming, lots of good food and a party at Chuck and Barby's lovely home in Tucson.  Even the ritual of saying good-bye seems healing.  It reminds me of my beloved brother Chuck as he called people to the house while he was dying.  The strength and character it gave him as he held each one of them and said their last words.  How assured he was of God's love and filled with God's peace.  I feel this way: this love, this peace, this light.  Thank you God for Sabbath.